Entrepreneurs: The Modern Business Etiquette Secrets For Influence & Success with Mr. Manners + Others (Full Episode)

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Is success today really about what you know? Or is it about the small overlooked behaviors, decisions and habits that quietly determine the course of your career? Ramping up your business. The time is near. You've given it heart, now get it in gear. This is Passage to Profit. I'm Richard Gearhart. [00:00:21] Speaker B: And I'm Elizabeth Gearhart. And we're your hosts. [00:00:24] Speaker A: Welcome to Passage to Profit, the road to Entrepreneurship. We have a very special guest. He's going to teach us how to behave. It's Thomas P. Farley. He's a keynote speaker, TV commentator, and America's trusted Mr. Manners. And he reveals how everyday habits of modern etiquette may be the ultimate competitive advantage. [00:00:44] Speaker B: And then we have two amazing women entrepreneurs. We have Lauren Paxton. She's an executive coach, she helps entrepreneurs and she uses neuroscience backed coaching strategies. I gotta see what these are, Lauren. And then we have Eva Kirschbomber, master organic esthetician, founder of SES Spa, and she shows how true beauty starts with health, not vanity. I can hardly wait, because her skin is amazing. Hardly wait to see how she did that. And coming up later on, it's Noah's Retrospective. [00:01:16] Speaker A: And not only that, we have some secrets from our guests talking about how they have secrets on how to be successful. But before that, it's time for your new business journey. And I want to ask our panel today, when you look back, what was the one decision or moment that most changed the trajectory of your business? And what did it cost you to make that decision? So, Thomas, welcome to the show. [00:01:41] Speaker C: Thank you so much. Richard and Elizabeth, a true treat. You know, I worked in publishing and magazine publishing. I was an editor at Town and Country magazine for the first portion of my career. And as publishing started to slide, I knew I needed to make a pivot. And I had three separate, very distinct areas I was focusing on. And the one that I was neglecting was the one that kept on winning. And I liken it to having three racehorses. And I kept feeding two of them, and the third one that I wasn't feeding was the one that wound up winning. So I needed to turn my attentions away from the ones that I thought were going to be the winners and instead focus on the one that turned out to be the true winner. [00:02:18] Speaker A: That is a great story. So thank you for sharing. Lauren Paxton, welcome to the show. What was the one decision or moment that you made that changed the trajectory of your business? [00:02:29] Speaker D: Great to be here. The one moment that really changed my trajectory was learning how to meditate. I took a course in transcendental meditation. And it was the first time in my career that I was really centered and really focused on what do I want to create. Until then, I was following society standards, getting the next best job and the next most prestigious role, and perhaps seeking better compensation and recognition. But it was a moment where I realized I want to create something for myself that reflects me. It cost me a lot of inner tension. It took another seven years to start my business, but it was worth it. [00:03:03] Speaker A: Well, that's great. Going deep and listening to yourself is so important. Meditation is an amazing way to do that. Eva Kirschbaumer, welcome to the show. [00:03:13] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:03:13] Speaker A: Tell us about a decision that you made that changed the trajectory. [00:03:16] Speaker E: Thank you so much. [00:03:17] Speaker A: Changed the trajectory of your business. [00:03:20] Speaker E: I'm not sure if I would able to pronounce that word, but for me is owning a small business. In the beginning of my career, I just realized that if I would want to grow and have more employees and not just doing everything myself, is they success is going to be my success success. I was dreaming about a big success and knowing and having a bigger store and chains and selling it and teaching it for more. And before that, I was always wanting to do everything myself. And then I realizing, like, hire more, grow more and they success will be your success. And it's a challenging one, right, for. For a person in a small business. Owner mentorship. [00:04:02] Speaker A: And you kind of want to do it all yourself because you like it all, but on the other hand, you like most of it. But on the other hand, you can't grow unless you get other people involved, correct? Yes, absolutely. Elizabeth. [00:04:13] Speaker B: Mine is the same thing. So I had these wonderful fortune to meet a woman when I was networking who was looking for a new way to take things in her life. Her name is Maggie. She's here in the studio, by the way, and she's joining me in our gear media studio business. Not just as like operating the cameras and the mics and all that. She's very good at that. But also in the consulting piece and in the sales piece. And it's great working with her. And it's added a new energy to the studio that I really enjoy. [00:04:45] Speaker A: Yeah, Maggie, you were a great find. So welcome to the team for my decision this week. I'm just going to say we hired a new marketing agency a couple months ago and. And they're blowing the doors off. We have got so much traction now. It's really exciting and I'm having a hard time keeping up with everything. So sometimes getting the right vendor makes all the difference in the world. And if somebody is not helping you the way you think you should be helped, it's time to make a change. And we did that, and it worked out really well. So thanks, everybody. That was your new business journey. And now we're on to our featured guest, Thomas P. Farley. He's better known as Mr. Manners. And he says professionals are unknowingly sabotaging their success with small, everyday behaviors. So welcome to the show. How did you get into the manners business? [00:05:36] Speaker C: Well, I tell people, for starters, it was 16 years of Catholic school. Wearing a necktie for most of those 16 years. That's what put me on the path. But truly, it was my time. I was an editor for Town and Country magazine, where I had a column called Social Graces. And the column looked at everyday interactions with an etiquette or manners related spin. And the column proved so successful that it ultimately became an anthology. And the anthology, when it came out, led to lots of television appearances. And from there, producers started to say, gosh, you know, you're regular Mr. Manners, aren't you? And it just kind of exploded. And so I left the world of publishing as the world of publishing was really publishing in particular, was falling apart and decided that it was time to hang my own shingle. And so I now, and I'm sure we'll talk about this, but I work with corporations on all aspects of putting your best foot forward in every interaction. [00:06:33] Speaker A: So how do you deal with somebody who has bad manners? Somebody has an annoying habit, for example, maybe in the workplace, on the one hand, you're sort of taking a personal risk by addressing it, but on the other hand, everybody else is having to put up with it. How do you get over that? Or should you get over that? I mean, when is it okay to let it pass and when is it okay to address it? [00:06:54] Speaker C: So this is a terrific question, and it's going to depend a lot on what is the relationship, the existing relationship that the two of you have? Is this a vendor who comes into the office once a year where you really don't have that much interaction with them at all? Is this somebody who works for you? Is this someone that you work for? I think truly, it starts as a baseline with setting the standard, setting the example yourself. So don't expect others to behave well if you are committing the same misbehaviors that you think this other person is guilty of. And I see that a lot, people will complain and complain about the bad etiquette of others, and yet they're doing the same thing themselves. So we need to set the example. [00:07:33] Speaker B: So I want to ask you if this is a good definition. This is what my mother used to say. She used to say, manners are about how you make other people feel. Do you agree with that? [00:07:43] Speaker C: I do. I do. So etiquette as a word, I think, has a really unfortunate reputation. People think of etiquette and they think, okay, so were we taking a time machine back to the Victorian era? [00:07:54] Speaker A: It's like lifting your pinky when you drink tea, right? I mean, that's etiquette. Yeah. [00:07:58] Speaker C: Well, so. And there's. I don't know if we have to. [00:08:01] Speaker A: I don't do that, by the way. [00:08:02] Speaker C: Well, I'm glad to hear, because I. That's showy etiquette, but it's actually. It's incorrect etiquette now. So the reason for that. Why do people stick their pinky out? It was to counterbalance the delicate weight of porcelain when porcelain was hugely expensive. And so as you're drinking, your tea would stick out your pinky, not to look snobby, but to help balance the teacup as you were drinking it, in case you dropped it, and, heaven forbid, you broke the teacup. Now, teacups are not that expensive, and there's no reason to do that. In fact, it's an affectation. But etiquette, frankly, it's those sorts of things, like sticking your pinky out, that people think of when they think of etiquette, when in reality, true etiquette evolves. It's there to make others feel comfortable in uncomfortable situations. So if you think about the pandemic, none of us living had ever gone through a pandemic before. But etiquette needed to step up and say, this is the way we can still be a civilized society interacting with each other without everything falling to chaos. So etiquette is designed to evolve. It's not forged in bronze by Queen Victoria. [00:09:01] Speaker B: It's. [00:09:01] Speaker C: It is there to change, adapt as conditions demand, so that, yes, Elizabeth, we can make others feel comfortable when they're around us, not less. [00:09:10] Speaker A: That's great. So where are we missing the target nowadays in terms of manners as a society? What do you think are some of the trends that you find disturbing? [00:09:20] Speaker C: One of the biggest things I'm seeing, and we all see it all around us, is that people are living in a bubble. You are out in public, and yet you're acting as though you're at home in private. So whether that's how you dress or whether that's how you carry on your conversations, Whether that's how you engage with your media, your music, your videos, your FaceTime calls on the street or on the bus or on an airplane, you know, things that we really should be reserving for private individual time we're doing out in public, which has a twofold negative impact. Number one, it means you're distracting and disturbing the others around you. But it also means you're not engaging with the people who are out there. You're not seeing the broad world. [00:09:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I think I saw you on a segment for CBS before the interview. Everybody put their phones in the middle of the table, right? [00:10:07] Speaker C: Yes. [00:10:07] Speaker A: So that it was sort of a gesture because obviously nobody would look at their phone during a TV interview. Sure. Or maybe they would, I don't know. I think that was really interesting. [00:10:17] Speaker B: So if you're going to meet a sales prospect, say somebody that you really want to sell to for the first time, are there do's and don'ts in manners? [00:10:27] Speaker C: Very much so. So think about, you are in someone's space, you are a guest in their office, just as you would be a guest in someone's home. So you want to think about first of all, that first seven seconds. We have seven seconds to make a first impression. So how are you dressed? How are you addressing them? Are you remembering their name? Are you greeting them with a smile? Are you looking closed off? How are you exchanging a business card? So all of these things that happen in the initial moments of a conversation, these are critical for showing that we care and that we've shown up with our aame. So if you want a lasting relationship, be it a business one or a personal one, those first impressions are truly critical. So on a sales call, this is all very important. And I would further say make sure you've done your homework before you show up. And don't say so tell me about you or tell me about. So what do you guys do again? I mean, if you're that blank minded about what this operation is, you're really wasting their time. So as much ground research you can do before about them and their organization, the better. [00:11:26] Speaker A: I think that's great. You know, now we have LinkedIn for example, and websites and so it is easy to at least take a quick [00:11:32] Speaker B: glance and chatgpt like I. [00:11:35] Speaker A: And chatgpt as well. [00:11:36] Speaker B: Chatgpt this morning, are there any really good questions I should ask Thomas? [00:11:41] Speaker C: Oh, I can't wait. Did ChatGPT also have the answers? Maybe send them my way? [00:11:47] Speaker A: You wouldn't even had to come into the studio, right? Yeah, we could have done the whole thing. [00:11:51] Speaker B: Well, what's the biggest faux pas you've ever seen someone do? [00:11:55] Speaker C: Oh, you know, I wasn't expecting this question, but I've got a very ready answer for you. So there is a family that's very well known for doing restaurant guides across the United States. And the paternoster of that organization was walking around a cocktail reception, and the server came along with a big plate of dip. And this gentleman took his fingers and he dipped them into the dip and licked his fingers right in front of everyone. And it was shocking to me. I mean, this is someone who knows restaurants. You know, this is his world. And the fact that he would do that. And it was such a turn off. The server didn't know what to do. She did an about face and marched right back into the kitchen to change out her bowl. [00:12:36] Speaker A: Well, I've got a story. I don't know. Noah may edit it out of this, but I was gonna say, when I was working for a big company, we had an older member of the team that had, I don't know how to say, flatulence problem. And this was before, like, video conferencing. Right. So we were all in these conference room, and, you know, it would get kind of stuffy in there. And so, you know, management nominated me to go talk to the guy and straighten this out. And it was probably one of the most embarrassing situations that I. Because I had no idea what this. Sure, sure. But he took it like a real trooper, and he was a team player. And ultimately he went to the doctor and he got some medication, which helped, and the problem was resolved. But it was, like, very difficult. I mean, I lost sleep over this for a week before I went and talked with him, because I, you know, I didn't know how to handle this at all. But ultimately, it turned out okay. [00:13:32] Speaker B: So what would you have done, Thomas? [00:13:34] Speaker C: That would not have been a conversation I would have relished either. I applaud you for having the bravery to do it. Even after a week's prayer prep time. You know, I think the simple fact is, and Elizabeth and I were talking about this earlier, you have to think about, would you like to know if it was you who was the offender? Would you not want to know? Would you want everybody secretly talking? Whether it's body odor, whether it's, you know, a perfume that's overpowering. I mean, there are Volta, you know, whether it's a sense of smell or anything else that's offensive. I think most of us who are considerate individuals would Want to know. So it's about tact and approaching it in a way that doesn't feel like you. You're putting them on the spot in a negative or mean way, but kind of weaving in there somewhere. I'm sharing this with you because I know if it were me, I would want somebody to tell you it's not easy to share this. However, I'm sharing it because. And I think if it comes from a place of compassion and not scorn or ridicule, I think they ultimately will come to appreciate it. [00:14:30] Speaker B: But I was at a conference, a business conference, and there was a woman, and she was walking the group of men, and her name tag, she was wearing a dark suit and her name tag was a white name tag, was traveling down, or had traveled down her body and was about to travel to someplace pretty embarrassing. People looked at it there. So I told her, I said, it looks like your name tag is coming loose or something. I forget just real briefly. And she was like. But I asked Thomas, should I have done that? I didn't know her. Should I have done that? [00:15:01] Speaker C: And as we discussed, I think you did the absolute right thing. I think you didn't. You know, you couched it so beautifully. You know, I think you might want to admit just your name tag, or I think your name tag might have fallen. I think that was a far better way of saying it than, you know, the alternative, shall we say? I like the fact that you, as a woman, spoke to another woman. I think it would have been awkward for a man to do so. [00:15:21] Speaker B: The men around her would never have told her. I mean, you can't these days, right? So, yeah, it's. [00:15:26] Speaker C: It's ultimately comes down to put yourself in their position. Would you not rather know? And I think the answer for most of us would be, I mean, maybe she was doing it intentionally. I doubt it. But if she was, then she could let it stand. But I think she was probably very appreciative. And who knows, maybe you found a new friend because you had the courage and the kindness to point it out in a very gentle way. [00:15:46] Speaker B: Now, if it had been a man, there's no way. [00:15:48] Speaker E: No one there. [00:15:49] Speaker C: No, no for sure. [00:15:51] Speaker A: What kind of manners are we teaching our kids nowadays? Do you think that our kids are well mannered or less mannered? [00:15:59] Speaker C: So this is an interesting question too, because I think there's this perception. Kids today, right? And then fill in the blank. You know, back in my day, we knew how to do xyz and. And you can actually read very similar commentary by Revolutionary War era parents about their children who they thought were ill behaved and didn't know manners and didn't know. So this is not a new phenomenon that young people disregard their manners at times. I think what is different for this time that we're living in and it's only accelerating and it's, it's not going to get better is the technology. So we can insult each other without seeing each other face to face. We can do so with great rapidity. We can make errors with great rapidity that are very difficult to claw back. And I think unfortunately a lot of parents are not really setting the example for their children. They don't want their children on the phone, but then you're at the, you're watching the family at the table or in a restaurant and the entire family are on there on their phone. [00:16:53] Speaker A: I've seen that, I've seen that, yeah. [00:16:55] Speaker C: So don't, you know, lash out against your children for being slaves to their devices when the parents are doing the same. It really should begin at home. I applaud that when it happens. But I will tell you, the executives I work with and the young professionals I work with, something happened where that day of lessons at home just simply did not occur because they've made it into the workforce and they don't know how to sit down to a business meal, they don't know how to hold a fork, they don't know how to say thank you. They don't know how to compose a considerate email. So I think as a culture, I think even those who do know better are often letting their standards drop, which I think is unfortunate. When was the last time anyone wrote a thank you card, for example? You know, now it's a thank you text, you know, thx, you know, thx for dinner, you know, and then, you know, consider that done. I think that's really unfortunate. So it's not just children, but children, of course are as tech savvy as each new generation always is. And they're using the devices to connect with each other. But there's a whole lot of disconnection, especially as we hear with Gen Alpha and Gen Z. [00:17:56] Speaker B: So you told me you're flying around the country and summer's a really tough time because they're onboarding new young executives at these companies. What's one of the first things you tell them? [00:18:06] Speaker C: We talk about the importance of this, that if you think etiquette is something that only your grandmother should consider, or, you know, if you think that you're going to sit down in my class with Mr. Manners and that we're going to put a book on everyone's head and have you walk in a straight line. [00:18:20] Speaker A: The rain in Spain is mainly in the plain. [00:18:23] Speaker C: That's right. This is not My Fair lady revisited. This is really about practical skills that will give you better interactions both in a workplace and in a professional. I say the skills we learn today will help you at the office. They'll help help you get promoted, they'll help you get noticed, but they're also going to help you in your family relationships. They're going to help you in your dating relationships. Being a considerate person holistically makes you that much more enjoyable to be around and someone who flourishes. And so if you feel like, oh, this sounds like ancient advice that I don't need, the fact is, you, it's relevant, it's contemporary, it changes with the times with AI and with social media, but it's still as vital as it has ever been, if not more so. [00:19:05] Speaker A: We are in New York right now. When is it okay to be rude? [00:19:11] Speaker C: Well, you know, this brings me back to you. You asked earlier, you know, at what point is it okay to not abide someone's bad behavior? So I think if you see someone being disrespected, I think it's time for you to step in on their behalf. If they're not defending themselves. I also say having good manners doesn't mean that you're a doormat. So letting someone abuse you emotionally, being a horrible, mean boss at work, having good manners doesn't mean you just sit there and you take it. You do stand up for yourself and you do so in a forthright way. You don't get angry, but in a confident way. So I think for New Yorkers, and I'm, I'm a longtime New Yorker, we see a lot of misbehavior. But I will tell you, New Yorkers have this horrible reputation as being awfully rude. There was a study that was done a couple of years ago. They called it the drop test, where they had a case study person stand in front of a Starbucks and drop an enormous sheaf of papers right in front of the doors they were entering to see who would stop to pick up the papers that they had just dropped. And of all the cities around the globe, that they did in Bangkok and London and so on, guess where they had the most people helping picking up the papers? It was New York City. So the thing about New York, I always say, is be quick. New Yorkers are willing to Help and love to help. But if you ask for too much of their time, they're rushing off somewhere. That's the key. [00:20:29] Speaker A: I sometimes think the New Yorkers get a reputation as being grumpy because they don't get enough sleep. It's a loud city. [00:20:36] Speaker C: True. [00:20:37] Speaker A: And a lot of the apartments don't have the best sound insulation, so that could contribute to it, too. [00:20:42] Speaker B: Do you give advice if somebody comes in and they just can't get along with anybody else or the super arrogant person, like a young. Lot of these young people coming out of school are very arrogant. What do you tell them? [00:20:54] Speaker C: I do a program, actually, called Dealing with Difficult People. So it's not really for the difficult person on how to [00:21:02] Speaker A: do the difficult people. [00:21:03] Speaker C: Yeah, they're the ones who really need it. You know, the fact is, difficult people are all around us, you know, whether at the store, at the office, and sometimes in our families, Unfortunately, I think it's really critical that we, as the person who's trying to be the best version of ourselves, we don't stoop to their level, but we tweak our language, we tweak our approach in a way that allows us to get better results from that interaction. And hopefully, if they see that enough, they start emulating it. Now, if it's someone who reports to you and they're surly or then of course, you want to have a word with them. But I would choose those conversations carefully. You know, they've. They've taken a lifetime to build those characteristics, and it's unlikely that they're going to transform overnight. But I think the best we can do is be the best version of ourselves, even when we sometimes feel like we're being pushed to our own limits. [00:21:50] Speaker A: Well, we have to take a break. We're with Thomas P. 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[00:23:58] Speaker G: Now back to passage to profit. Once again, Richard and Elizabeth Gearhart. [00:24:03] Speaker A: We're here with Thomas P. Farley. Mr. Manners, I wanted to ask you about networking because a lot of our entrepreneurs now are doing networking. It's a great way to meet people and make connections and any thoughts about how to be an effective networker? [00:24:16] Speaker C: Yes, I love this question. So one of the workshops I do teach is called Working the Room. And I find that we have less and less opportunities to interact with other professionals because hybrid work space environments where we're not in the office, as much happy hours as the younger generation is not going out to drink nearly as much as the first generation we're drinking is down. So a lot of these socialization, these quality corporate type events, conferences, conventions, they really are the one and only opportunity you may have to make lasting business connections. So it's really critical that you show up with the best version of yourself. Now, not everyone can be an extrovert and that's okay. I think really it's critical that you don't immediately break out your device and stand against the wall because you feel like you're uncomfortable around others. I recommend going with an outfit that makes you Feel great. You know some key people that you want to have a conversation with, you've researched them, you know their names, you know what they look like, so you can find them in the room. I recommend no more than seven minutes per interaction. So not that you have to take all seven minutes, but if you meet someone you like and you talk for 45 minutes with that one person in a crowded room, you're missing an opportunity on connecting with a whole lot of other individuals in that room. And then lastly, especially if you feel like you're a little bit shy, I recommend going with what I call a pocket story. So something kind of fun and interesting and quirky. You're going to stay away from weather because, I'm sorry, weather's one of those boring small talk topics. If you walk in and say, you know, gosh, it's not the heat, it's the humidity, right? Oh, please. [00:25:53] Speaker A: You know, how about them mats? [00:25:55] Speaker C: You know, how about those? Exactly. Yeah, they definitely won't want to go there so far. [00:25:59] Speaker B: I want, I will say Richard had a conversation with an Uber driver for 45 minutes about windshield wipers. [00:26:04] Speaker C: I love that. Yeah, I love that. It's possible. But in a room, of course, where you're networking with people, if you've taken seven solid minutes, had a great interaction, again, you've come with that pocket story. Something quirky. There are a couple of websites I recommend in my workshops where you can find these interesting out there stories. The key is to figure out how to weave it in naturally to a conversation and, and not make it seem like it's coming out of nowhere. That's critical, but that's my favorite thing to do. And then lastly, and this is where a lot of people do drop the ball, you've spent all this time being yourself, making a great impression. Maybe you exchange business cards and then you never follow up. You don't send them an email, you don't reconnect with them. The business card, if you even got one, if you even had one, winds up in a drawer somewhere or in your wallet folded. By the time you look at it again, you've forgotten who this person was or where you met them. So a next day connect, I think is really terrific. [00:26:58] Speaker B: So do you only do corporate workshops? Can a normal person who's not affiliated with anything but wants to help their career take a workshop from you? [00:27:06] Speaker C: So I don't offer typically private individual sessions. I will occasionally be asked. In fact, I have one right now that I'm planning for a family In Westchester County, N.Y. who wants a dining etiquette program for them and their extended family. And they're paying more or less corporate rates for it. But I don't have open enrollment programs. I will do personal coaching for professionals who are looking for that. But I would say my typical client is a corporation. Sometimes it's an off site retreat they're doing and they want a speaker for half a day or even a convention speaker, keynote speech. So it's them and then universities as well, but not so much the private individuals. That's a totally different market. [00:27:46] Speaker A: So, Thomas, what experience did you have as a child that put you where you are today? [00:27:52] Speaker C: Well, as I mentioned earlier, I think the Catholic school upbringing, I was semi joking about that. But the reality is I. I had throughout grammar school, I had the Sisters of Charity who, you know, they weren't. This was past the era where they'd hit you with a ruler, but they were very strict. [00:28:05] Speaker B: And you, you must be younger than I am then. I got the crap beat out of me by the nuts. Oh yeah, priests too. [00:28:12] Speaker C: Wow. Oh, that's not good. Yeah. [00:28:13] Speaker B: And I was little, they didn't care. [00:28:15] Speaker C: They were, they were strict. They were strict. You know, there were certain words and phrases you would never dream of saying. And, you know, we took our hats off when we walked back into, you know, after playing on the playground. The hat came immediately off. Your tie had to be fully. So those little things, you know, they may seem like not a lot. I grew up as well in a family with lots of teachers who were. My mom was a schoolteacher, had aunts who were teachers. So I think that was really critical and it was something. Honestly, I don't know that I ever expected to be doing it professionally until I got to Town a country magazine and had the Social Graces column and wound up doing the book. And I really thought there is a need here. And I felt so privileged to be able to have a platform to speak about all of these issues that we've been talking about in a way that was not stuffy and that was really, you know, people think of etiquette and they think of some granny with half glasses and a bun, you know, maybe a nun, you know, tisking everyone in the room. And I thought that's, that's not what this is really about. And if I can make it something or that you have to be British if you're going to teach, you know, I don't think any of that is necessary. And that seems to be borne out. You know, corporate America is very frightened of the Word etiquette. It's. They think it's going to be the book balancing class. And once we get talking and when they realize it's, it's everything, but then they're more open to it. [00:29:38] Speaker B: So, Thomas, how did you take something so niche and get on TV all over the place? Like, how did you turn this into a media career too? [00:29:46] Speaker C: My dream when I was a child was not to be an etiquette person, but it was to be a TV person. I had book reports of me in the third and fourth grade where I had little hand drawn illustrations of me with a microphone. It was actually funny enough, all the NBC and Today show work that I continue to do, it was an NBC mike flag me reporting from wnbc. So I really, I was always captivated by television as a medium. This environment where we're all sitting now feels very comfortable for me. I was a disc jockey at Fordham, where I went to school at WFUV, which is a big 50,000 watt transmitter radio station. So it was there and. But ultimately landed in print publishing, which sadly, as we all know, has just been evaporating before our eyes. And I thought, I've built up a phenomenal amount of credibility in a space that I'm now extremely passionate about. I see the need, I see the interest. As the book came out, producers started booking me and I think they were relieved to see someone who wasn't that stereotypical etiquette person and could address whether it was technology. That cell phone stack that you were talking about earlier, that was on CBS where we put our cell phones in the middle of the table as an exercise. And so immediately they saw that it could be fun. And by now we've done little shows. I did one on NBC for Valentine's Day where we had hearts, you know, little kind of conversations, Hearts on paddles, where I'd present a scenario and the host would say whether it was like a love connection or not, based on the etiquette interaction. So it's, I think, really about making it fun, making it accessible, knowing what the needs of the audience are and adapting accordingly. [00:31:18] Speaker B: Well, and you have an amazing look, so go to YouTube. I'm not kidding. His hair is like, everybody would kill for his hair. He's got this head of curly, gorgeous hair. [00:31:32] Speaker C: Thank you. [00:31:33] Speaker B: And that's. That's part of your personal brand, right? [00:31:35] Speaker C: It's. Well, you're right. Thank you. And I appreciate that. I mean, let me tell you, when you have curly hair and anybody who does, they know the struggle, it's real. It has its days and it's, and it's in its bad days, but it has become part of my brand. I've embraced it. And I'll tell you, anytime I do get a shorter haircut, my business cards that have a avatar of me with the curly hair, they look at it and they say, who's this? Why do you have this curly haired person on your business card? So unless I change my business cards, I guess I'm keeping the curls. [00:32:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:32:04] Speaker A: So, Thomas, where can people find you? [00:32:06] Speaker C: So I recently launched a relaunched my YouTube channel. So every Monday I do a segment called Mr. Manners Mondays. So that's on YouTube and that's on Substack. And I'm really enjoying Substack as a platform. It's, I think for anybody looking to build their brand, looking to build their business, it's just a terrific, seamless, clean platform. The website is mrspelled Outcome and I'm on all social media with the same handle, mrspelledout Manners on Instagram and so on. [00:32:34] Speaker A: That's great. Well, thank you so much for joining us. I feel like I've learned a lot and I'm ready to go back into the world with better manners than when I came. But before we do that, it's time for AI business Real use cases. [00:32:47] Speaker B: That's not like I booked him to teach you matters. [00:32:50] Speaker A: Well, it worked anyway. [00:32:52] Speaker B: Okay, now it is time for real AI use cases. I'm going to ask everybody here for one really favorite way they're using AI and then after everybody says one way, we're going to go around and just talk about all the different ways we're using AI because every if somebody's using it one way, they're using it a million ways. Right. So I'm going to start with Thomas Farley. What is one really cool way you're using AI? [00:33:15] Speaker C: I do a weekly segment called Mr. Manners Mondays. And I need a backdrop that's perfectly synchronized with what my content is going to be. And so I use AI to create those fantastical images that are behind me in my segments. [00:33:28] Speaker B: That's great. Lauren Paxton, what's one way that you're using AI? [00:33:32] Speaker D: I really use AI to make my business, my software work for me. I'll dictate and spell out everything I'm planning to say. I'll put it through my AI system and shoot out a PowerPoint with worksheets and prefab designs and agendas. [00:33:46] Speaker B: So. [00:33:47] Speaker D: So I'm just spending the time doing the work I do well and I let AI do the rest Eva Kirschbomber, [00:33:52] Speaker B: what's one way you're using AI? [00:33:53] Speaker E: There's some apps that you could take a picture and send it to your dermatologist and, you know, look at it together. So we're not worried about it. And that's why I love it. Oh, I use it all the time. [00:34:03] Speaker B: That's a great idea. Richard Gearhart, what's one way that you're using AI? [00:34:07] Speaker A: Well, I have been following the news a bit lately, and there's, I guess, a case is coming up for trial at the Federal Trade Commission against Amazon. They're using AI to control pricing. And the net result of this seems to be that prices are going up rather than maintaining this competitive market that we all hoped would be there. And what they're doing is they're going out and they're checking on competitive pricing. And anytime a competitor lowers their price, they lower their price that the consumer sees, or if the competitor raises the price, they raise the price. And so they assume that because there's like 200 million people using Amazon, that they're just going to order from Amazon instead of going to another competitor. And this really has a negative impact on, you know, small businesses, small startups, because they can't compete with the Amazon experience. Right. And it's really difficult. So it's AI and it's connected to me by. Because I use Amazon and I hope that the Federal Trade Commission does something to fix this because I really do feel like consumers are losing out because of these tactics and it's all because of AI. [00:35:22] Speaker B: Yes. And me, Elizabeth Gearhart, I've been using it for research. I'm researching something I really want to try. So I don't know if you guys have heard of heygen, where you can make a video clone of yourself. And I have a studio, Gear Media Studio. So I have the cameras and mics. And as I said, Maggie's joined me in the studio. So we're going to be talking and what you do is you do a video of yourself, but you try to capture all your facial expressions. So you do want to kind of have a conversation with somebody. And then we can filter her out with our editing software. We're going to do that and then edit it and then put it into hey, Jen. And then hopefully make a pretty decent video clone of me. And then I'm gonna do short videos for YouTube shorts. And then what you do is you type in what you want it to say. Can be like 30 seconds. I think I wanna learn this now because once it gets Better. I'm gonna send it to the Gearhart law meetings and have it sit in for me. [00:36:22] Speaker A: Lucky us. [00:36:25] Speaker B: Just kidding. [00:36:26] Speaker A: Nobody can replace you, dear. [00:36:28] Speaker B: Kidding. [00:36:28] Speaker A: But seriously, I mean, is this, is this the path we want to go down? Because I, I feel like when people go to YouTube, they want to hear the person that they're going to be dealing with. Right. I, and I agree it's a marketing tactic, but I, I want people to know who I am. Right. And you know, how, how closely is the AI clone going to replicate that? [00:36:51] Speaker B: Well, we'll find out. And there's two types of clones. Right. There's the one like Lauren's sort of starting to do, where you put all your content in and it kind of clones your thoughts. Right. Like there are people that are doing [00:37:03] Speaker A: that right now, but this is gonna [00:37:05] Speaker B: clone your visage and your mannerisms, all of that. Yeah, yeah. And it's apparently, according to. Hey, Jen. The software is very carefully guarded. So then somebody can't, somebody can't use [00:37:16] Speaker A: it for inappropriate reasons. Yeah, that's another risk, right? [00:37:20] Speaker B: Yeah. So what are your guys thoughts on this? [00:37:22] Speaker C: I, you know, it concerns me a little bit. I think we're, we're living in an age where AI has gotten so close to reality, it's very difficult to determine. And you know, it used to be don't believe it unless you see it. Well, now even seeing it, unless you're seeing it with your own eyes in person, can you truly believe it? And I find that frightening. Now, this use case, it sounds fun, but in a way, I almost feel like we're training our own replacements. And I know one thing I've been reading about quite a bit and is for corporate employees who are mandated to be using, whether it's Copilot or Gemini at the office, that those same learning models are actually learning you and learning how you do your job so that ultimately that becomes the ip so that when they need to either train your replacement or completely eliminate your job, they've got all of your prompts, your thought [00:38:14] Speaker A: process, your hierarchies, and it's just a very interesting issue. [00:38:19] Speaker B: Real AI Use Cases. To hear our full discussion, listen to our podcast, real AI use cases, business owners roundtable on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. And coming up, we have two more entrepreneur interviews and Secrets of the Entrepreneurial Mind. [00:38:34] Speaker A: Passage to Profit with Richard and Elizabeth Gerhardt. [00:38:37] Speaker E: Don't go away. 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[00:39:37] Speaker I: Learn how thousands of smart homeowners are investing about a dollar to avoid expensive home repair bills. John, a former non customer, said, my air conditioner broke and I had to spend $1,900 to fix it. Jeff, a customer wrote, my air conditioner broke and I got a new one at no out of pocket cost. Mary, a former non customer, wrote, my heating system started. I had to spend $3,000 to get a new one. Lisa, a customer wrote, my heater stopped working. I got it fixed at no out of pocket cost. For about $1 a day, you can have all the major appliances and systems in your home guaranteed fixed or replaced. Call now. If the lines are busy, please call back. [00:40:19] Speaker F: Call the Home Warranty Hotline now at 8002-5549-4080-0255-4940 800, 255-4540. That's 800-255-4940. [00:40:36] Speaker C: Passage to profit continues with Richard and Elizabeth Gearhart. [00:40:41] Speaker A: Quick shout out to our friends at WKAN 1320am and 1O 1.3 FM in Chicago, IL. Thanks for listening and if you're new here, Passage to Profit is a top ranked entrepreneurship podcast and radio show heard in 38 markets. It's a place where founders share what really works. Now this is the Intellectual Property News Podcast with Richard Gerhardt. When a machine creates something, who owns it? Does anyone? This case involves Stephen Thaler, a computer scientist who created an AI system called the Creativity Machine. That machine generated a piece of artwork and Thaler submitted it to the US Copyright Office seeking protection. But he made one critical move. He listed the AI, not himself, as the author. The Copyright Office denied the application. Thaler challenged that decision in court, lost at the district court, and then appealed. And now the appellate court has affirmed the denial. Thaler's main argument was simple. He said the Copyright act of 1976 never explicitly says that an author must be a human being. It just uses the word author. So he said, if Congress didn't limit authorship to humans, why shouldn't AI qualify? Well, the court said no. They said, even though the statute doesn't say it, the structure of the law shows that Congress was talking about human authors. And the court gave several reasons. Do you think they make sense? First, authors are able to own property and machines don't. Second, copyright lasts for the life of the author plus 70 years. This is clearly based on a human lifespan. Machines don't have one. Third, copyright can pass to heirs to children and grandchildren. Machines don't have families. Fourth, transferring a copyright requires a signed document. Machines can't sign anything. Fifth, the law refers to an author's nationality and domicile. Machines don't have either. Sixth, authors are described as having intent, like when two people collaborate with the intention of creating a single work, and machines don't form intent. And finally, throughout the statute, computers and programs are consistently treated as tools, not creators. The court even referenced prior cases like the well known monkey selfie case, where a photograph taken by a monkey was not eligible for copyright because the animal wasn't a legal author. So the conclusion is clear. Authors must be human. And I think that outcome is correct. If a work is created entirely by artificial intelligence with no human creative input, then there's no author in the legal sense and no copyright. Keep in mind, the Copyright act was written in 1976. Computers existed, but modern AI didn't. It may be that Congress eventually defines what authorship means in the age of artificial intelligence. But for now, the rule is straightforward. AI can be a powerful tool, but it's still just a tool. And as long as that's the case, copyrights belong to humans and and not machines. Keep in mind, this decision does not prevent copyright protection when AI is used as part of the creative process. If a human is directing, shaping or contributing creatively, protection is still available. But if it's just the machine, no human author, no copyright. [00:44:28] Speaker B: Passage to profit with Richard and Elizabeth [00:44:30] Speaker A: Gearhart, later, the secrets of the Entrepreneurial. What successful founders think about that most people never see. [00:44:38] Speaker B: And now it is time for Lauren Paxton with laurenpaxton.com she is an executive coach, a business coach, and she uses neuroscience. So I'm fascinated by that. Welcome Lauren. Can you tell us all about what you do? [00:44:54] Speaker D: Sure, I'd love to. Great to be here. I am an executive coach. I work with mid career professionals, particularly lawyers, because my background is as a lawyer in moving towards leadership. And often in folks I'm working with, that means learning how to become a bit of entrepreneur themselves, growing a book of business, having a personal brand, being aware of their executive presence and how they're presenting themselves to the world. I do have a background. I'm formally trained in a neuroscience based training for coaching. And so I use a lot of tools in mindset, perspective, habit formation and really the goal is to work with our brains and our nervous system when we're doing something new and difficult and different. So getting folks who are used to executing work at a high level, to being leaders and managing and have an owner's mindset, we really use those neuroscience tools. [00:45:46] Speaker A: Tell us about neuroscience. [00:45:47] Speaker D: It sounds complicated. Yeah. So at least the little corner of it, that's part of my world, the goal is really to recognize that there are things that we do as humans that work against us when we're trying to do something new and different. Different. So the case in my experience is you've got a professional who's excellent at what they do, they're excellent at executing what their work is. But now they've got to grow, they've got to have an owner's mindset. That may mean speaking in front of an audience for the first time. That may mean networking differently than they have before. It may mean establishing a social media presence. That's new. So automatically a lot of barriers come up for individuals limiting beliefs. I'm not someone who speaks in front of an audience. I don't know how to network. This isn't my thing. That's what salespeople do. So the neuroscience is about getting to the core of that belief. Why do you believe that? What is that based on? And the flip side is what do you want for yourself? What does success look like for you? What will be different about your life once you get over this and you are an entrepreneur and you have your own business? Often it's the combination of examining those barriers, getting them out of way and building new neural pathways tied to success for that individual. [00:47:01] Speaker A: You work predominantly with lawyers. What are some of the roadblocks to this? I mean, is it logical to say if they wanted to be more out there, if they wanted to be more on social media, they would already be doing it? Is that something that, you know, some attorneys really Want? [00:47:18] Speaker D: Yeah, that's a great question. So look, attorneys come in so many different shapes and, and sizes, from solo practitioners to big firm lawyers. And across the gamut, we have corporate lawyers who are primarily doing solo work, working in small teams, and litigators who are used to being in court. I myself was a federal prosecutor for many years. I did jury trial work. I know how to present in court and be influential. So when I'm working with a corporate lawyer, first we have to talk about identity. Their identity is doing really good work. Product. Their identity is not speaking in front of an audience. So we really have to start there. And once we get into your identity is a successful lawyer means people think of you. You're the first phone call. They know how good you are at doing your work. That's why they reach out to you, not because you're fantastic on your feet. And so once we start tying success for them to the steps that need to be taken, then they have a reason to go on social media and we start identifying an authentic voice for them on social media. It's not look at me, it's look at this great, interesting thing I'm working on. I'd love to talk to you about it. [00:48:23] Speaker A: That's really interesting. So what made you go from the legal world to the coaching legal world? [00:48:29] Speaker D: I built a book of business and private practice for myself. I was a law firm partner with a fairly well respected firm here in the New York area. I had great clients, Fortune 500 companies, public figures, and C suite executives. And along the way, a lot of my colleagues were asking me for advice about building a book of business. There were some things I was doing intuitively and quite honestly. There's a lot of things I was doing that maybe sort of were behind the scenes. I hired my own coaches. I had business development coaches. I was going to seminars and talks and workshops. I was listening to podcasts about sales psychology. I was making myself a student of this, and I really enjoyed passing it on. So my last couple of years of practice, I had some leadership and bar associations. I was doing a ton of mentoring, training other lawyers. And I realized at a certain point that this is what I wanted for myself. I wanted to pass it on. And I was sort of done with being the one executing the work. [00:49:22] Speaker B: I think that's what happens. And that's how, like with you too, Thomas, a speaking career starts is all of a sudden everybody's asking you because you're the expert, what do you think? [00:49:30] Speaker C: It's true. I don't think anyone really you know, goes to kindergarten thinking, I can't wait to become a speaker or coach. But it's really. It's a wonderful thing. You know, I burnished my credentials in the world of print publishing, and yet here I am out speaking in front of large audiences. So I think, really, if you can look at what your core skill set is, which, in my case, hopefully, it's about communication that has so many applicable areas that you might take for granted in yourself, but others don't necessarily have that same skill set. And if you can help them get there or get closer to where they want to be as you're doing. Lauren, I'm curious. So wardrobe at law firms. So I do. I do programs. I do workshops. [00:50:10] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:50:10] Speaker C: One of the biggest questions I get from young associates in particular is, you know, do I really need to put on a suit? Do I really need to put on a skirt suit set or heels? Or can I show up in khakis and a sport? How do you give advice on that specific area? Because I feel like it's evolving, especially at banks and law firms, which are really kind of the last holdouts of any kind of a formal workplace wardrobe. [00:50:35] Speaker D: Yeah, that's a great question. I have plenty of worst stories about folks showing up in the wrong wardrobe. But to answer that directly, because I am coming at this from a coaching perspective, everything I do is collaborative. So I typically open a conversation like that with, tell me what you're trying to get out of this. Are you showing up to be a support to another partner? Are you showing up in court to be a support? What do you see for yourself in the future? And if the response I'm getting is, I'm just trying to put the bare minimum in so I can pay off my loans, then typically we'll go really to the direction. But if someone really doesn't have the awareness of how they're showing up and how it matches their goals, that's where we're doing the work. Cause odds are that person has some awareness gaps in other areas. [00:51:15] Speaker A: I recently was on a video call with an attorney, and she was wearing pink pajamas in the middle of the workday. And I was just like, wow, that's some real flexibility there. And in this case, I was a client. I mean, she did a good job. She was competent, but it was a real surprise for me. And I thought, I think it would be a little better if she had showed up, you know, at least wearing some sort of professional blouse or something, and she could, you know, change after the meeting if she didn't really want to wear it. [00:51:46] Speaker B: Yeah, it doesn't take that much effort to just change your shirt. But I wanted to ask you, what do you say to the attorney who says, yeah, I could probably get more business if I was on social media and if I did a few videos. I just don't have time for that nonsense. [00:52:00] Speaker D: Number one roadblock for lawyers is I don't have time. And honestly, for entrepreneurs who are already have jobs and trying to do something on the side, there's an element of needing to be intentional. So this is what I say, let's flash forward five years, let's flash forward 10 years. Where do you want to be? And most often they don't say, I want to still be billing 8 to 10 hours a day and working nights and weekends and trying to get myself to hit the mark for the partner above me and the partner above them. Most often they say, I want to have my own practice, I want to have my own business. I want to be directly working with clients. I want to be calling the shots. And so now we tie it back to how do we get there. And there is neuroscience behind it. Believe it or not, when a client. So in this instance a lawyer makes their own connections and their own neural pathways, they that actually releases a little bit of endorphins and a little bit of positive sort of like hormone release for them. And that's why coaching is so effective. Because if I can tell a client what to do, that neuro reaction will not happen. They'll listen the way. Oh, that's interesting. Maybe I'll do it, maybe I won't. Or maybe this person, you know, she knows how to be in court, she doesn't know me. But if I help a client see the connection between what they want and the path to get there, that will stick. [00:53:16] Speaker A: So let's for a moment assume that most of our audience are not attorneys. How would you take some of these principles and apply them to people in the general business community? [00:53:28] Speaker D: I think the general principles are, first of all, being collaborative and having thought partners is extremely important in anything you're doing. I'm a big fan of having the personal board of advisors. So, you know, I myself have my own business. I'm not practicing law, but I have five or six people that I bounce everything off of. I have a mentor who's been there before me. I have someone who's my critic who will say no to everything I say. So it really helps me test whether I have a good idea or not. I have my connectors, people who know other people and can connect me. And I think if you're an entrepreneur of any time, you need a team of people. No one can do it alone. [00:54:04] Speaker A: I love that advice because having a board or a group of advisors can really be helpful. Did they all meet together? Do you have regular board meetings or are these just individual relationships? [00:54:18] Speaker D: For me, it's individual relationships. The people who are on my board would not make time to all meet with each other. With me, I'm not that important to them just yet. Maybe one day I will be, but I'm going to catch them on the fly when they're available. I mean, some of these folks, you know, if I can get 15 minutes on their calendar, that's a, that's a good fit. And often there's reciprocity. Hey, I've got something to share with you. You've got something to share with me. That's really when those connections get sticky. [00:54:44] Speaker B: So how do you get a presentation for an attorney who's not used to [00:54:47] Speaker D: doing it Again, we're always going to start with the why and we're going to make sure it's really important to them. With lawyers who are not accustomed to speaking, we start with what are you interested in? What do you think you would feel comfortable talking about? What do you spend your day in? And, you know, can you speak about that sort of authentically? And if they can't, then these are folks who are going to do writing and they're going to be on social media and they're not going to be speaking in person. And there are plenty of wildly successful lawyers who have a personal brand and a reputation of being extremely thoughtful. And really the go to lawyer, they've never stood up and spoken in front of a room. [00:55:24] Speaker C: We hear so much about job dissatisfaction amongst those who are lawyers. I've got many friends and family members who are lawyers who absolutely loathe their jobs. How much of what you do is a making sure that they're in the right place, even if they've already paid for and gone through law school and put in their time at a firm? And how much is built around bringing them back around to getting to embrace and love the law in a way that initially appealed to them about getting into the profession in the first place? [00:55:55] Speaker D: That's a great question. And the response I'll give is the same for any entrepreneur, which is, let's go back to your why. Why are you doing this? You know, for me, I went to law school. I wanted to be in court. I did the federal Prosecutor thing. And I think my why started to get watered down over time and ultimately led me to do what I do now. I think for many lawyers, either they've lost track of their why, or they can't see that they're going to get there. And for me, having them envision success and figuring out, am I on the path to success makes all the difference. Because lawyers, entrepreneurs, people will put in the work if they see where it's going and they believe it's going to get them to where they want to be. [00:56:34] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, most lawyers are ambitious people. It takes a lot of energy to go through the education process and the credentials and all of those things. So there tend to be people who value success and competence. Right. And if they're unhappy, then that's too bad. I do kind of fault the organizations that employ them for not always having the best leadership. But I've been a practicing attorney now for over 35 years, and I still enjoy it. It's been a long time since I've dreaded going into the office. I mean, you still have bad days every once in a while, but for the most part, I enjoy what I do. But I also get to call the shots, and that makes it a much better environment. Right. So that's. [00:57:22] Speaker B: We also get all the blame. [00:57:24] Speaker A: Well, that's true. The buck does stop here. [00:57:28] Speaker B: I do want to go back to the why. You're so right like that. I teach classes on starting a podcast, and the very first thing is, what's your why? And that's like your whole life, Right. What is your why? And then when you get discouraged or things don't go right, you go back to that. What was your why when you started this? So, Lauren, this has been a really wonderful discussion. How can people get ahold of you? And do you work with individual lawyers, or do you go through law firms, or how do you work? [00:57:58] Speaker D: I do both. So law firms often hire me to work with their lawyers, but I also have many clients who have sought me out for themselves, for their own private retention. [00:58:06] Speaker B: Just lawyers or entrepreneurs as well? [00:58:07] Speaker D: I do work with entrepreneurs as well. Given my background as a lawyer, that tends to be who reaches out to me. [00:58:13] Speaker B: Okay, and how do people find you? [00:58:15] Speaker D: My website is just my name. Laurenpaxton.com I also am primarily on LinkedIn for social media. [00:58:21] Speaker B: Okay, excellent. Thank you. [00:58:23] Speaker A: Passage to Profit with Richard and Elizabeth Gerhardt. [00:58:26] Speaker B: Now we're going to turn to skin. This is the question that Ava Kirschbaumer asks people. What if everything you've been Told about skin care is wrong. And I want to know what you mean by that, Ava, and what is right. So welcome to the show. [00:58:42] Speaker E: Thank you. Thank you so much for letting me a part of this. I think less is more always is. You over washing, over exfoliating, overdoing it all. Okay. You don't need seven wash for your face with seven different chemicals. [00:58:57] Speaker B: Thank goodness. [00:58:58] Speaker E: Exactly. Right. But you do have to wash your face. And most of my clients are actually starting young because parents bring them to me, and they kind of like, I don't know how to tell him, like, he needs to wash his face or bad odor. Like, can you help me? So I do work with young people a lot, and I. And it comes from. Because I had a bad skin. I had a horrible skin when I was growing up. And I just. I had so many opportunities to, you know, doing some modeling or anything. And they're like, we would love to. I mean, you're short, but your teeth is beautiful. But we can't take a picture of you because your skin is horrible. So I. I just said, what? [00:59:37] Speaker B: Why? [00:59:37] Speaker E: How? And I started, you know, hanging out in these beauty parlors. In Europe, you do it much more early on than in the United States. United States, we typically go to a doctor and we get, like, a medicine to be perfect immediately. And those have some crazy side effects. So in Europe, we're going back to a little bit of nature. Okay, let's see. What are you eating? What's your hormone level? What is going on here? Why? So I felt the vibe that I loved, and I thought, okay, this lady could really help me, and I want to be a part of this. I want to do this. I want to study this, and I want to know more about skin. So that's how I started. And I always tell the clients when they come to see me, as an advice, they're not coming to see me because they have no good facial massage. Meanwhile, I'm giving the best one. It is for sure. I want you to all challenge me. [01:00:29] Speaker B: You're in Pittsburgh, right? So people have to go to Pittsburgh to get this wonderful facial massage been [01:00:34] Speaker E: flown to private clients, I must say, which is I'm honored and I'm grateful, but yes, Pittsburgh. So the false things about. I feel like people should know is that perfection? There is no such a thing. Okay, There is. I never met anybody said, you know, I met this woman, and her forehead was just so perfect. I fell in love. I fell in love. I just thought to. But I do met men or women who said that. Twinkle in their eye was the way they twitching their nose or when they rising their eyebrow is when she's mad at me or laughing. It's just something. [01:01:14] Speaker A: Well, it's all about confidence. [01:01:15] Speaker D: Right? [01:01:16] Speaker A: Right. I mean, so if you're concerned about your skin and it doesn't look the way you want it to, then it reduces your confidence. If you feel comfortable in your own skin, then you have that confidence. [01:01:28] Speaker B: Yes. [01:01:29] Speaker E: And people who see me, like I said, they're seeking advice. I'm not sure how to handle it. Or there is something in here or I have more blackheads or I have my pores are large. Is it normal? Is it this? We do have genetic dispositions obviously, right. How we aging and what we look like and we inherit that. But you can obviously could help that with certain things. And one other thing I always tell is your gut is your stomach. It is a fact. So what you put in there is what you eat, what you're going to look like every time. If it's medicine, if it's oily foods or if it's too much chemicals or your environment or what's your daily routine? Are you just baking your scene in a sun and you expecting this, you know, not dehydrated skin, you can't if you're not drinking of water, if you not eat supplements, for example. And my age, I'm an older lady. You need supplements, you need to absorb the correct nutritions. A lot of people don't need to do that. Skin doesn't have actual organ. It heals through nutrition. It's a shield. Right. So you need to feed it but the correct way. So you know, people who come to see me, I educate them a little bit about nutrition, what your right step for your lifestyle and how we can have it. That problem that you seem to be [01:02:46] Speaker B: having, do you have products to put on the skin that people can use? [01:02:50] Speaker E: Yes, I have my own 17 oils. But I also have a lot of amazing product that I favor and you know to suggest, you know, biopeptics. If it's mad, if it's pavonia, if it's hydropeptide factor 5, one of my favorites. So there's a lot of options. It's actually a good question because people get overwhelmed, right. Like what do we do? And I always say less is more. We find the right. And you have to knit your ingredients. There's lots of stuff that we putting in our skin even before we leave our house. It's just too much, it's tough. Some of them are toxic. Actually. [01:03:24] Speaker B: Right. And it goes through your skin into your correct bloodstream, right? [01:03:27] Speaker E: Yes, correct. You can't just through your membrane, your, you know, your saliva and your eyes and. Yes, absolutely. [01:03:34] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:03:34] Speaker C: I'm curious. So, Eva, billion dollar industry is the cosmetics industry. And everybody's looking for that magic bullet, you know, secret to Fountain of youth. [01:03:43] Speaker E: Yes. [01:03:44] Speaker C: What are three specific things that you think, male or female, any age you can be doing to make a noticeable difference in the appearance of your skin consistency. [01:03:54] Speaker E: So you do follow, you have to follow the steps, which is with your esthetician or your dermatologist or whoever you want to, you know, your professionals to figure that out for you. When you give up to, you know, when people buy a cleanser and they said, I used it twice and I just don't even work. You have to be consistent, number one. Number two, again, back to what you eat. You, you have to eat correct way. And I'm not saying we can be unrealistic. Like, you can't have sugar. Sugar is inflammat causing inflammation in a cellular level. Right. That's what aging is and that's what's causing a zit or some sort of skin disease or psoriasis or all that jazz. That when we like, okay, why do I have this? Well, let's look at your diet. But we can say, don't have it. Balance. That's another one. Just balance it. Okay. Can be like, will not gonna have sugar. It's just unrealistic. And then know yourself, right? Know your skin and like I said, go consistently get facials. [01:04:52] Speaker A: What about exercise? Does that play a role in skin care? [01:04:57] Speaker E: Yes, it does. So exercise for the skin in my profession is called face gym. It's facial massages, which is, I am extremely good at it and I teach it. That is gives blood flow oxygenation to the skin. Right. Particularly now with everybody's using Botox or fillers, the face is not even moving. [01:05:15] Speaker C: So we're completely shut off. [01:05:18] Speaker E: So you need that exercise and oxygenation. So it was a good question. It's kind of like running a good hour. Have a good facial massage. It's magic. [01:05:29] Speaker A: So that was interesting where you brought up Botox. [01:05:31] Speaker E: Yes. [01:05:32] Speaker A: Do you recommend Botox for patients who are concerned about wrinkles? [01:05:35] Speaker E: I love that you asked this question because I have been asked every day, multiple times, and I say, why are we doing this botox? What are we achieving from it? And like I said, I'd never met somebody whose forehead tends to be so perfectly non moving. And that makes you so much attraction. Are you doing it for yourself? Are you doing it for. You're doing it because you want to be attracting somebody. And who decided that? That is your perfect look. Right. I am against it. But if I say to you, you cannot look at yourself in a mirror because you're so depressed. Just do it. Just do it. For God's sake, just do it. I'm terrified two things gonna happen. You could have side effects from it. Okay, but then it's also gonna change what you're gonna look like, right? How you're gonna talk, how you're gonna mimic. Right? [01:06:24] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:06:25] Speaker E: So if you. [01:06:26] Speaker C: Okay, so you're gonna look. [01:06:31] Speaker E: Back to this look that it's just not real. It's not you. I love that I'm the age I am, and I actually have this thing that, like, I would actually always add five years to it just because it's like, how old are you? And I would say age. And I'm 52, by the way. But now I'm saying 57. And the reason I'm saying that because, like, oh, you look great. It's such a joyful. [01:06:54] Speaker A: If I say that to people, they're going to say, what happened to you? I don't have anything. [01:06:59] Speaker E: Just such a judging thing this age. Why does it matter for me, I want people to look in my eyes and think, she looks good and healthy. Like, it doesn't have to be such a. What age and what are we concerned? I just think smiling and looking somebody's eyes. Right, Thomas. And just make that connection. That's where you have that attraction versus, oh, her forehead is so smooth. I just can't stop looking at her. [01:07:23] Speaker A: It's kind of like though, you know, I look younger, I have more time. You know, I have more time left on the Earth. Right. So if you feel like if people think you're younger, that's what it's. Some people may see it as a [01:07:36] Speaker E: longevity issue because we want to have that being living longer in Earth, not have the diseases. Right. We want to enjoy. People are retiring earlier and earlier right now. You know, you trying to save money. Right. In your profession. And so you want to enjoy yourself and want to be more attractive to people. People. Let's see, you divorced. You want to have a new mate now. And I'm against it. But my biggest against is fillers. I always say to people that will talk you out of it. There's some sort of obsession about that perfection. I think that narcissism chip kicked in way too much. And it comes from again, of the selfies the picture taking and you know, the Facebook that people judging, like, oh my God, Ava looks awful in that picture she posted. And then you getting, you not getting the likes or you're getting negative comments, you're like, I gotta get a facelift. Oh my goodness, I gotta get a facelift. So I just think it's about your self worth, you understanding yourself where you are, being confident like you said. [01:08:34] Speaker A: Right. [01:08:35] Speaker E: And comfortable with yourself. And I think that's much more sexy and much more attractive than having a filler in your lip. [01:08:41] Speaker B: So I told Google Gemini how old I was because I got really mad at it. So I'm 66. I don't care. [01:08:48] Speaker E: Fantastic. [01:08:48] Speaker B: Oh, thank you. I told it to create an image for me of a woman for this blog post I did. So it creates this image of this dumpy looking gray haired old lady and I got so mad at it and I said, I don't have gray hair. I mean I was yelling at it while I was typing like, I'm blonde and everybody tells me I look 50. Which that's a little bit of an exaggeration. [01:09:11] Speaker E: But. [01:09:11] Speaker A: But good for Google Gemini to know that. Yeah. [01:09:14] Speaker B: So it redid it as a blonde woman who looked normal. But there's just this ageism in society and I think that's why some people do this. But Toms, you were going to say something. [01:09:23] Speaker C: Yeah. I'm so curious, Ava. So I've been reading a lot lately about peptides. [01:09:28] Speaker E: Okay, yes. [01:09:28] Speaker C: And not topical peptides, but because of GLP1s that people are taking for weight loss, there's something you're probably familiar with. The Barbie peptide. Have you heard of this? That will give you a tan and decrease your wrinkles. And people on social media, of course are swearing by this. I'm guessing based on what you've said about Botox and fillers, you're not a fan. Do you feel at any point is the science not here yet? Do you feel like. Because it's really. It is about kind of healing from within rather than injecting or putting, you know, something that's going to freeze something. Is there promise there? Are you excited by the potential for or do you feel like absolutely not. It's artificial and should not be considered. [01:10:08] Speaker E: Yes, I absolutely, I agree with you. There is good stuff about. But being tan, who decided that is. That is a must. Right. So I think having healing from within with your food and supplements and helping the skin to heal itself. Yes. Looking smoother or hydrated, it's essential healing skin diseases. If people have Severe psoriasis. Yes, absolutely. I'm for it. But a tan, I think it's just completely unrealistic and fake. And that look of Barbie. Are we gonna all look the same now or so what is happening here? You know, are we gonna walk around in New York City and think is everybody seven foot because navi taking tactite to grow or. I mean are we just completely out of our mind? Yeah. The uniqueness of us. Which is why I love New York City. I'm not obviously you guys could hear my accent. I'm not from here, but I love this big city. And I just think the different the culture, the different skin colors, the different eye looks, everything about it is AM and we need that. So I just can't imagine we all looking Barbie and Ken. I don't want to go there. [01:11:19] Speaker B: Yeah. So is there anything that you put on your own skin that you would recommend for people to use? [01:11:25] Speaker E: I go back to the lesser hyaluronic acid I love. You know, I do believe in that hydration internally that I drink a lot of water. I take about 15 different supplement and I take supplements that there is needs to be to create new skin. You know, the copper, the collagen, the B, the magnese, the vitamin C essential. So I really try to focus on it. [01:11:50] Speaker B: Good. [01:11:51] Speaker E: The hydration part, the nice creams, basic cream. It doesn't have to be. I do find retinol is a good cell turnover product. But you have to understand you also UV sensitive. That means you are actually a magnet. And now you're absorbing bad UV as well. [01:12:07] Speaker B: Right, Right. [01:12:07] Speaker E: So you have to protect yourself. I also believe in spf has to be done. [01:12:12] Speaker B: You know, I was going to say that staying out of the sun because I have very fair skin. I don't go in the sun. [01:12:18] Speaker E: Normally you need sun. Sunlight is essential for your mood, your nervous system, your skin health. The wide of your eyes is actually helps to recognize the sun. To have the melanin come to as a defense. Right. That's why we get the tan and not burn. [01:12:32] Speaker D: So. [01:12:32] Speaker E: So I believe in exposure of your skin in sunlight before the UV index is so high that is damaging. So it's a must. So I would say to you, yes, please do go to the sun. [01:12:45] Speaker B: Any last tips for our audience for skincare? [01:12:49] Speaker E: Please go to a dermatologist to have a regular check. Have an esthetician who you regularly maintain a routine. Get what the advice you want from them and follow through. Okay. And do your research. Who's the best and when people come to See me regularly. Like, oh, I don't. I don't know if I love the beauto music that you have in your room, but I love your facial massage. Talk to them. What. What is it? The experience could make it better for you, right? Even if getting a body massage, like do you want 1 to 10 or 7 pressure or just a 2 pressure, right. So you got to speak up, educate yourself, talk to them about it and be consistent. It's for the love of God, just be consistent. [01:13:28] Speaker B: And how do people get a hold of you? [01:13:29] Speaker E: Espa.com I'm located in Pittsburgh, but like I said, I do go to. I flown into private sessions to all over the country. So I'm happy to see that if people want to reach out to me. Aspa.com and I'm looking at Pittsburgh. Espinol. Okay. [01:13:43] Speaker B: Espa. [01:13:44] Speaker E: Yes. Esspa.com. [01:13:46] Speaker B: okay, great. Thank you very much. [01:13:47] Speaker E: Thank you so much. [01:13:49] Speaker B: So don't go away. We have secrets of the entrepreneurial mind coming up. And we're going to hear a secret from each of our guests that has helped them be successful. Passage to Profit with Richard and Elizabeth Gearhart. [01:14:00] Speaker D: Be right back. [01:14:01] Speaker F: Do you hear that? That's the sound of uncertainty lurking under your hood. You know the feeling? I know I do. That sudden sinking sensation when you see a check engine light or your car unexpectedly breaks down and you're faced with sky high repair bills. It's time to shield against unexpected risk repairs with Car Shield. Car Shield is America's most trusted auto protection company and has an A rating with the Better Business Bureau. Don't let the fear of a breakdown keep you up at night. Trust the Shield. Car Shield. And say goodbye to terrifying repair bills and hello to peace of mind. Your plan also comes with 24. 7 roadside assistance, courtesy towing, rental car options, and so much more. Don't wait till it's too late. Call Car Shield now before a breakdown. Protect your wallet. Protect your car with Car Shield. Get our best protection ever. Call now. You'll thank me later. 8002-6121-7680-0261-2176. That's 800-261-2176. [01:15:00] Speaker C: It's passage to profit. [01:15:02] Speaker A: Now it's time for Noah's retrospective. [01:15:05] Speaker B: Noah Fleischman is our producer here at [01:15:07] Speaker A: Passage, and he just can't observe our future without recognizing our past. [01:15:13] Speaker J: A leading sociologist in a recent interview made a claim that the source of most of our problems in society today generate from a lack of discipline. I believe it. Look, when we were small Children, our parents told us exactly what we were going to wear, exactly what we were going to eat, and exactly when to go to bed. When I was a child, the television stations did that too. With TV programming, they told us exactly what our choices were, exactly when we could see them, and exactly what we weren't going to be able to see. This whole world of On Demand, anything, anytime we want, is blowing us into a world of constant indecision. It's getting out of control. I mean, if you're not somebody that can actually lie on the bed and flip through 1495 channels in four minutes at night, chances are you're living with somebody that can. And even that's a little crazy. We've got to treat television like the treat that it is. Take it back to basics. Here's something you can try for next week. Make a list of all the shows you might like to watch. Create your own little TV Guide. Then when TV time rolls around, make a choice. Watch the one you really want to see and sacrifice the others. And then like in the good old days, wait a year until you can see the ones you missed all over again. If it's discipline we need, do this for a year. We'll be the best behaved society in the world. [01:16:27] Speaker G: Now more with Richard and Elizabeth. Passage to profit. [01:16:31] Speaker B: And now it is time for Secrets of the Entrepreneurial Mind and Thomas P. Farley. I am going to start with you, Mr. Manners. What is a secret you can share with our audience? [01:16:44] Speaker C: My secret is don't ever sell yourself short. So one of my very first jobs that I applied for, I just read a book that said if you don't get the job and you really want it, send them a follow up note and tell them you think they made a mistake. Which seems really gutsy. But if you think about it, you don't really have much to lose. You already have not gotten the job. Well, that very first job that I wrote that note, three weeks later, the hiring manager called me and said, you're right, I did make a mistake. Are you still available? Could you come back in and interview with us? And I got the job. [01:17:12] Speaker A: Wow, what a great story. I never really heard of that. [01:17:15] Speaker B: That's awesome. Okay, Lauren paxton with lauren paxton.com. what's a secret you can share? [01:17:22] Speaker D: My secret is having a service mindset. Whenever I find myself focusing on what I'm going to do and why I'm going to do it, I think about who's going to get value out of it. And it helps me when things like perfectionism or procrastination get in the way. Being really focused on what's the most important thing for me to do to have an impact on the folks I'm serving. That really helps. [01:17:42] Speaker B: Oh, that is a good one. So, Ava Kirschbommer, what's the secret you can share? [01:17:47] Speaker E: Oh, for me is I remember somebody said to me, I want to be surrounding myself with people who are rooting for you. So you do need that group of people who are there for you no matter what. Because owning a business, you're gonna be one. You're gonna be days where it's just like, I can't maybe it's, this is not for me. And then if you have that cheerleader, if you have that critic, like you said, you have to have them surround yourself with people who are smarter and more better at what you do and receive it. And it's okay to learn from others. And I keep going to classes all the time. I mean, people calling me the guru or a master, but I'm still taking beginners classes because I learn and I learn from my staff who do I teach and just learning every day. And surround yourself with smart, good people who are rooting for you. [01:18:33] Speaker B: I love that one. Richard Gearhart with Gearhart Law. What's a secret you can share? [01:18:37] Speaker A: Consistency beats brilliance. If you're an entrepreneur, it's a marathon, it's not a sprint. And developing good, regular habits that further your business and doing it on a regular basis, whatever it is that you're doing, if you're creating a social media strategy, posting on a regular basis, if you're looking at your accounting, you know, set up a system where you look at your numbers on a regular basis. Brilliance is great. It has its place, and you need that too, sometimes. But I think consistency in the long run is more important. [01:19:12] Speaker B: And I'm Elizabeth Gearhart with Gear Media Studios, and mine is if there's something you really like to do and you're really passionate about and it's something that other people would pay to know, teach yourself as much as you can about it and then go teach other people and make money that way. With the way the world is changing now and all the new AI stuff and all the software that you can learn that people need to use, like this editing software that we were talking about earlier that Maggie and I were talking about, there's things you can teach yourself that people will pay to learn from you. So there's lots of ways to make money. Now. [01:19:47] Speaker A: That's it for today's passage to profit show. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe to the podcast and leave a quick review. Also, follow us on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and X, and subscribe to our YouTube channel for bonus content. Tune in next week for another episode of Passage to Profit.